The More Important Things In Life
by lowi
Summary: Drabble collection. Draco & Astoria, trying to make sense in a period of life where everything should be easy. /for Pearl
1. Patronus

_A/N: This is a drabble collection for a challenge at the HPFC, the __Drabble Collection Challenge__, where I got ten prompts, and here is the first one!_

_The collection is dedicated to Pearl (__PrincessPearl__) as my belated Christmas gift to her, I hope you'll like it!_

_Thanks to __mew-tsubaki__ for betareading!_

* * *

**one - patronus**

When the last blue beam disappeared back into Draco's wand, the darkness of the night was blinding. And that felt more than good. It made it feel as though it wasn't just empty in his head but also in everywhere else around him.

He began to walk, and luckily he knew the way to the backdoor without needing to see, so it was only one time he stumbled and had to grab hold of a branch to uphold himself.

He had to see Astoria as soon as possible, because what had happened wasn't as it should be, considering first of all how empty it made him feel.

"Astoria, my Patronus has changed!"

She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"Don't you get it? It has _changed_!"

"I do get it, but so what, Draco?"

Draco narrowed his eyes as Astoria rose and walked up to him and grabbed his hand.

Her eyes were shining with something Draco never had seen before, but all Draco could think of was how he wanted her to understand how worried he was, how he wanted her, needed her to comfort him.

Suddenly she laughed. "Draco, I'm pregnant."

Draco stared at her. A Patronus change didn't feel so important anymore.


	2. Giggles

**two - giggles**

They sat on the sofa in front of the fire, and everything felt warm but not too warm. It was instead that fuzzy feeling, that one that made one's cheeks burn with liveliness and eyes shine with glee.

Draco's head suddenly slumped against Astoria's shoulder. She turned her head and found his eyes closed.

"Hey, don't fall asleep," she whispered, and he opened them halfway.

"What—mhm," he mumbled. "But I'm tired."

"Not already," Astoria said, and he couldn't stop the giggles erupting from her mouth. "It's only ten o'clock."

"Not my fault that it's exhausting shopping with you." Draco's voice was still slow and his hand rested completely relaxed in Astoria's, but his eyes had regained some of their light.

"C'mon, it wasn't that exhausting." Astoria poked a finger in Draco's ribs and he jolted.

"Hey—," he began, but Astoria crawled over and sat on his lap and silenced him by putting her lips on his.

"I think you should stay awake a little longer, huh?" she asked when they both had to catch their breath a while later.

"Ah, okay then…" Draco grinned and let his hands wander up Astoria's back underneath her shirt. "A little longer."


	3. Hospital Wing

**three – hospital wing **

_Dearest Astoria,_

_Do you remember when we first met? In the hospital wing, that time when you were having a cold, and I was about to visit Theo. I remember it, as if it was yesterday._

_We were so young then, I was only sixteen and you fourteen and, yet, I knew that I wanted to live with you._

Astoria couldn't read any more. Her hands were shaking, and she wanted to rip his brain out, spit on it, and throw it into a fire.

How could he do this to her? She knew what the letter was going to say. She knew he was leaving her.

And she was fucking pregnant with his fucking child.

She breathed in heavily and lifted the letter up again.

_I know this doesn't make sense, but I need some time for myself. I'll be back, and I love you._

_Yours, always,_

_Draco_

_What is he on about? _she asked herself as she crumpled the letter between her fingers.

_If he really is coming back, he'll not be forgiven that easily, _she thought.


	4. Sleepy

**four—sleepy**

He felt like closing his eyes and just drifting away into a foreign land where nothing would be troubled, where everything would be simple, and where he would know exactly what to do.

But he couldn't. It wasn't right to do that. He touched the rim of his glass, pulled his fingers across it, and wondered what it would feel like if it wasn't the polished surface but a sharp shard he was sensing against his fingertip.

He was so sleepy.

The good thing was that he was in a bar, where the music was practically so loud he couldn't hear his own thoughts. Or maybe that wasn't so good, because he had to think.

It was a tough decision, because he feared he would fall asleep the moment he left the music that thrummed in his ears, but he still rose and left. Out on the street, the air was fresh.

_I can't do what I'm doing_. That was all he knew. But the question was, what was he doing? Ditching his girlfriend and unborn baby—or learning to become a father?

If it was the first, the answer would be simple, and he would go home immediately. But, as he wasn't going home immediately, he feared that it was the second. _I can't become a father_.

He didn't have the guts for it. He didn't deserve it. He would do something wrong, _everything_ wrong.

So instead of returning home, scooping Astoria up in his arms and kissing her, and praying for her forgiveness, he walked further into the night, and wondered why it felt as though _everywhere_ was a foreign land, why there all of a sudden was nothing but unexplored paths in all directions.


	5. Green

**five – green**

She took a walk each day. She took a walk each day, the same every time. Turning left outside the door, then right by the bus stop, cross the street and into the park.

And each day, she sat down on the bench and watched the leaves on the trees turn greener and greener.

That was the sign of time passing, together with the bump on her stomach growing. But in a way, it felt as though time had stopped. Because Draco hadn't come back, and wasn't watching time passing with her, as he should be.

So she did it by herself, on that bench. She rested her hand on her stomach and imagined she was visiting her baby in there, and told him or her about the word, about spring turning into summer, about beautiful things.

Skillfully, she avoided talking to her baby about absent soon-to-be fathers, upheld promises, and memories that now were taunting her but once were the most precious things she owned.

Because she wouldn't let her baby know how lonely and awful the twists of life could be. Not yet.


	6. Ghost

**six—ghost**

Draco was almost there now. Just a few more steps, and he would be…home? Or just _back_?

Anyway, it was these last few steps that were the hardest. Everything looked the same, or not really, because it had been two months and it was much greener and lusher and much bigger…

Or he just felt small.

He had decided exactly three minutes ago that he couldn't keep doing what he was doing, so, without thinking he had Apparated here.

Even if it was all scaring the crap out of him, still. Even if he was bound to make a severe mistake, he was now returning and going to prove himself worthy of his child. He wasn't going to be a coward.

He knocked at the door and waited. He put his hands in his pockets because they shook so much. She opened the door, and he felt even smaller, because this wasn't the Astoria he had left.

This Astoria had bags underneath her eyes, disheveled hair, and a distinct bump for a stomach, and she stared at him as if she had seen a ghost.

But then she slammed the door in his face after one burning second where her gaze lingered on him. Draco grinned to himself and knocked again; that was the Astoria he knew.


	7. Crowd

**seven—crowd**

Astoria couldn't believe it. She sank down on the floor and closed her eyes while he knocked again.

She had wanted him to return, yes…but, no, she hadn't wanted him to return.

It was too much. It was pressing on her; she felt as though she was in a crowd—nowhere to go, unable to move.

He had stopped knocking, she realized after a while as she opened her eyes. The door was still closed. Should she open it? But what if he was still there? …and what if he _wasn't_ there?

She took a deep breath and placed a hand on her stomach.

Her baby needed a father; no matter that Draco had done everything wrong. There was still a reason—he was _their_ baby's father.

She opened the door and, thank Merlin, he stood there. She let him inside.


End file.
